Imagine, you’re 31, and you are gifted at the game of baseball. So gifted you are playing in the big leagues and you’re so good you want 15 million dollars, a year for 3 years to play on a team. You feel you are such a good player with all of your gold gloves, any team would want you on their squad. Once you file for something called free agency you think that everything you want is in the bag. Now, after waiting for someone to sign you for 4 months, you realize there is one tiny thing in the way of your goal. Something called the… um… economic depression, was it?
I guess you forgot about that.
Now you are wondering, what do I do? My two favorite teams don’t want you.
Your money’s going down the drain.
You’re even suffering from panic attacks.
So, what is the solution to all your problems?
All I have to say is, peace out O-Dawg, The Manoman
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The weather is chilly
The Hot Stove’s cooling down
Some General Managers were so silly
Letting their players leave town
Footballs are flying
Baseballs are being cooled
Yankee fans are dying
To see the Red Sox get schooled
The stars are training
Getting ready for the season
While others are demanding huge contracts
Practically for no reason
Some teams are getting bargains
Some players are getting deals
And the Hall of Fame just inducted someone
Who’s got some pair of wheels
A candle is alone flickering
Waiting for its time
To go join a team
With its own fantasy rhyme
Boras is speechless
As quiet as can be
Still demanding huge contracts
For some players worth a penny
So that’s the story of this offseason
From Dunn, to Abreu, to Manny
How many are left without contracts
And those people are a plenty
Embrace who you have and desire who you need
Go tell your General Manager and be sure to plead!